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Ubuntu: My humanity is inextricably bound up in what is yours. I am human because I belong, I participate, I share, I care.
Four Agreements: 1. Be impeccable with your speech - words are powerful.
2. Don't take anything personally
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best
Numenism: a community oriented belief system with a layered perception of divinity - we are all connected, we are all divine.
Agreement 1 is also an integral part of Numenism, again via talanoa, as well as our perception of magic as patterns. Words weave a great many patterns.
Agreement 2 sounds nice on the surface. Taken to the recommended extremes however, it contradicts our Numenist philosophy of community and the African philosophy of Ubuntu. There are times when we should, and indeed must, take things personally. Without that direct personal involvement, we are not likely to make changes. Nor are we ready to accept responsibility for our own actions. Just think - if we operated with the guideline of never taking anything personally, we would ignore it when someone told us we had toilet paper stuck to our shoe. That's as trivial as I could think of, but it is indeed a personal matter. If we didn't take the comment personally, we'd never check to see if there really was a piece of toilet paper stuck to our shoe, and we'd never get the opportunity to decide of we wanted to remove it or leave its removal to chance or try to preserve its connection to our shoe. Imagine how this would translate if we were parents and someone told us our child was in the street and a car was coming. It's nothing personal, nothing to do with us. According to the book, the comment reflects upon the person making it. And that's where we Numenists diverge from the Four Agreements. See, we've embraced the "Be impeccable with your speech" and the talanoa/ubuntu. Those two concepts combined means we listen to the other people and we act upon what they say. No matter how the other person delivers the information, the core of what they are saying is that our child is in the street. We can take it personally and take action to remove our child from the street or we can ignore it and hope someone else assumes responsibility and gets our child out of the street or we can ignore it and let our child wander the street. I don't know about any of you, but I'd take it incredibly personally both if someone pointed out my child had escaped my attention to wander a street and if my child was struck by a car. Very personally.
Now, that isn't to say we should take everything personally. We should seek the core of the meaning of the words said to us. Sure, the words telling us our child was in the street could be accompanied by intonations implying we are bad parents and should be ashamed of ourselves and all manner of nastiness. We take the overlying message personally and respond to that or we can ignore it and respond to the core of the message - our child is in the street. I would say we shouldn't rise to the bait of other people, but we should respond to and even at times take quite personally the true message hidden behind the word choices and tones. M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled wrote "the problem of distinguishing what we are and what we are not responsible for in this life is one of the greatest problems of human existence." I wouldn't go quite that far, but he has a point. By never taking anything personally, we distance ourselves from everyone else. We lose talanoa. We lose ubuntu. We Numenists would say here, instead of "Don't take anything personally", "Consider the source."
Agreement Three has many of the same problems. Taking this Agreement to the recommended extreme ignores all of our previous life experience and common sense we've acquired. When we go through life making no assumptions about anything, we cannot apply our knowledge, experience, or wisdom to anything. There is no connectivity, no place for talanoa, and certainly none for ubuntu. We daily make many assumptions - water is wet, the sun will rise, fish live in water, we have to be at work at 7:00 a.m., the mail will be delivered to our mailbox. That doesn't mean that we can't be open to the possibility that water might be sticky, the sun will revolve sideways, fish will want to be your dance partner, you don't have to go to work at any particular time, and your mail will be delivered to you in bed. We should certainly be observant and open to all kinds of possibilities. I would say, instead of "Don't make assumptions" - "Be observant".
The Four Agreements disagree with us Numenists more in degree than in intent. If we had to narrow it down to four sentences, I'd keep the first and last Agreement unchanged - words are powerful. Words can cause far more harm than a gun or a bomb or poison, for those things are obvious and the damage they cause self-limiting. Words can reverberate through the centuries and cause harm over and over again virally infecting many people. Words are a power we wield even more thoughtlessly than the metal weapons we drive. And the last Agreement - to Always do your best. That one echoes our own - Be Excellent. Both of these support our concept of talanoa - the gossip that binds a community together, that spreads information in an intimate and caring way. If we choose our words with care and thought as to their power over others and ourselves, and we always choose to be excellent, then what we say to one another will be personal and helpful and supportive. If we consider the source of the words - the person uttering them as well as what the words really mean - then we won't get wrapped up in an emotional tangle. Observation also assists us in making these decisions and helps us decipher which responsibilities are ours - ours as in we have a personal ability to make a difference.
Our First Numenist Agreement would be: Be impeccable in your speech.
Our Second Numenist Agreement would be: Consider the source.
Our Third Numenist Agreement would be: Be observant.
Our Fourth Numenist Agreement would be: Be excellent.
We Numenists would add a totally Robin Williams concept as well: Play. Allow yourself to be silly, to laugh, to have fun.
And we Numenists would add: Care and share. This an ubuntu concept, one we've embraced since our earliest days - long before we knew the word "ubuntu".
So we have Six Agreements: Be impeccable in your speech. Consider the source. Be observant. Be excellent. Play. Care and Share.
Four Agreements: 1. Be impeccable with your speech - words are powerful.
2. Don't take anything personally
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always do your best
Numenism: a community oriented belief system with a layered perception of divinity - we are all connected, we are all divine.
Agreement 1 is also an integral part of Numenism, again via talanoa, as well as our perception of magic as patterns. Words weave a great many patterns.
Agreement 2 sounds nice on the surface. Taken to the recommended extremes however, it contradicts our Numenist philosophy of community and the African philosophy of Ubuntu. There are times when we should, and indeed must, take things personally. Without that direct personal involvement, we are not likely to make changes. Nor are we ready to accept responsibility for our own actions. Just think - if we operated with the guideline of never taking anything personally, we would ignore it when someone told us we had toilet paper stuck to our shoe. That's as trivial as I could think of, but it is indeed a personal matter. If we didn't take the comment personally, we'd never check to see if there really was a piece of toilet paper stuck to our shoe, and we'd never get the opportunity to decide of we wanted to remove it or leave its removal to chance or try to preserve its connection to our shoe. Imagine how this would translate if we were parents and someone told us our child was in the street and a car was coming. It's nothing personal, nothing to do with us. According to the book, the comment reflects upon the person making it. And that's where we Numenists diverge from the Four Agreements. See, we've embraced the "Be impeccable with your speech" and the talanoa/ubuntu. Those two concepts combined means we listen to the other people and we act upon what they say. No matter how the other person delivers the information, the core of what they are saying is that our child is in the street. We can take it personally and take action to remove our child from the street or we can ignore it and hope someone else assumes responsibility and gets our child out of the street or we can ignore it and let our child wander the street. I don't know about any of you, but I'd take it incredibly personally both if someone pointed out my child had escaped my attention to wander a street and if my child was struck by a car. Very personally.
Now, that isn't to say we should take everything personally. We should seek the core of the meaning of the words said to us. Sure, the words telling us our child was in the street could be accompanied by intonations implying we are bad parents and should be ashamed of ourselves and all manner of nastiness. We take the overlying message personally and respond to that or we can ignore it and respond to the core of the message - our child is in the street. I would say we shouldn't rise to the bait of other people, but we should respond to and even at times take quite personally the true message hidden behind the word choices and tones. M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled wrote "the problem of distinguishing what we are and what we are not responsible for in this life is one of the greatest problems of human existence." I wouldn't go quite that far, but he has a point. By never taking anything personally, we distance ourselves from everyone else. We lose talanoa. We lose ubuntu. We Numenists would say here, instead of "Don't take anything personally", "Consider the source."
Agreement Three has many of the same problems. Taking this Agreement to the recommended extreme ignores all of our previous life experience and common sense we've acquired. When we go through life making no assumptions about anything, we cannot apply our knowledge, experience, or wisdom to anything. There is no connectivity, no place for talanoa, and certainly none for ubuntu. We daily make many assumptions - water is wet, the sun will rise, fish live in water, we have to be at work at 7:00 a.m., the mail will be delivered to our mailbox. That doesn't mean that we can't be open to the possibility that water might be sticky, the sun will revolve sideways, fish will want to be your dance partner, you don't have to go to work at any particular time, and your mail will be delivered to you in bed. We should certainly be observant and open to all kinds of possibilities. I would say, instead of "Don't make assumptions" - "Be observant".
The Four Agreements disagree with us Numenists more in degree than in intent. If we had to narrow it down to four sentences, I'd keep the first and last Agreement unchanged - words are powerful. Words can cause far more harm than a gun or a bomb or poison, for those things are obvious and the damage they cause self-limiting. Words can reverberate through the centuries and cause harm over and over again virally infecting many people. Words are a power we wield even more thoughtlessly than the metal weapons we drive. And the last Agreement - to Always do your best. That one echoes our own - Be Excellent. Both of these support our concept of talanoa - the gossip that binds a community together, that spreads information in an intimate and caring way. If we choose our words with care and thought as to their power over others and ourselves, and we always choose to be excellent, then what we say to one another will be personal and helpful and supportive. If we consider the source of the words - the person uttering them as well as what the words really mean - then we won't get wrapped up in an emotional tangle. Observation also assists us in making these decisions and helps us decipher which responsibilities are ours - ours as in we have a personal ability to make a difference.
Our First Numenist Agreement would be: Be impeccable in your speech.
Our Second Numenist Agreement would be: Consider the source.
Our Third Numenist Agreement would be: Be observant.
Our Fourth Numenist Agreement would be: Be excellent.
We Numenists would add a totally Robin Williams concept as well: Play. Allow yourself to be silly, to laugh, to have fun.
And we Numenists would add: Care and share. This an ubuntu concept, one we've embraced since our earliest days - long before we knew the word "ubuntu".
So we have Six Agreements: Be impeccable in your speech. Consider the source. Be observant. Be excellent. Play. Care and Share.
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