Do It Yourself

[talon]

http://www.reuters.com/news/video/story?videoId=189921537&videoChannel=1004

I am in the age group (over 50) where 75% of the people are capable of doing most things themselves. To me, it's just natural that I make things I need, or adapt things to suit my needs, or just for the fun of it. I'm not going to list the things I can do myself because the list is really long, so just imagine that if it needs doing, either I can do it or a reasonable facsimile thereof - and often without special tools. Not that I don't like special tools, I have a large collection of special tools. Some of them I bought, and some of them I made. Almost all of my Sculpey tools are ones I made from Sculpey, sewing needles, knife blades, wooden sticks and skewers, paper clips, and so on.

This report says that only 30% of the people under 30 know how to do things themselves.

I bet I can tell you why kids and young people are less likely to know how to make things themselves - the adults in their lives didn't let them handle knives, cleavers, saws, hammers, screwdrivers, glues, wood, metal, fires, sewing machines, needles, scissors, wires, and such.

I know when I was a Cub Scout leader, the dads usually tried their best to make things the boys were supposed to do themselves. I got where I had the "dads club" off in one room making the things they thought the boys were supposed to make while I had the boys over in another room actually making the things they were supposed to be making. It was the only way I could be sure the boys got the skills and experience they needed. The dads were mad because the boys' things usually looked "slapped together by a kid". I'd always reply, "Well, they were slapped together by a kid, and as they practice, they'll get better." Dads wanted instant perfection or the kids weren't allowed to do it at all.

Camp Fire parents were much more laid back - the kids were often able to work on their crafting skills by themselves. My biggest problem with Camp Fire parents is that the parents wanted to do the crafts, too, and so I'd always have to buy extra supplies for them - they are the reason I started WoodSpirits, the adult activity organization

WoodSpirits is kind of a flop because adults won't give themselves permission to play like that unless they have a child doing it. I guess it's like adults not wanting to go to the theater for a kid movie unless they have a kid in tow, or not going to the zoo or an amusement park or something unless they have a kid in tow.

And yet, these same people interfere with the kids doing things on their own.

In fact, the places kids used to swarm and do by themselves now have prominent signs saying kids must be accompanied by an adult at all times. There are few places for kids to be free of smothering adult supervision, so they don't learn to make and do for themselves. How many tree houses have you seen that were entirely kid-built anymore? Most are bought already manufactured. Playhouses are the same way. When I was a kid, we built our own playhouses and forts and pirate ships from sheets of corrugated tin, brush piles, sticks, and old sheets. We wandered the copses and creeks and fields unaccompanied by adults, and sometimes not even with older kids. Kids don't do that now. There are precious few copses and creeks and kids seen at them are run off by adults and the parents charged with neglect.

We became independent, self-sufficient adults because we didn't have adults breathing down our necks every moment taking away the things we were doing because we weren't "doing them right" and they'd "show" us how to do it while we sadly watched. We "borrowed" tools and found things and made them into our own toys and the adults were there to wash our skinned knees and bandage our smaller cuts and bruises and take us in to get stitches and broken bones set when we went a little too far - and the parents weren't charged with neglect! The kids learned self sufficiency, confidence, determination, and flexibility - skills we took into our adulthood.

Kids and adults lived in 2 separate worlds that intersected at meal times, bed time, special events, and when the kids needed an adult to fix things (like cuts and broken bones) or extricate them from a sticky situation. Kids need to spend time away from adults, usually in the company of other kids.

I know younger people look at old TV shows like "Our Gang" and "Lassie" and think it's all just fiction, but it wasn't. We really did spend a lot of time outside of the adult world, doing our own things, salvaging and "borrowing" things from the adults to fashion our own realities. And when we got out of our depth, there was usually an older kid or an adult to turn to. Adults were our last resort. We spent as much time as possible avoiding them when we weren't in class or doing household chores or eating with our parents, and adults, because they lived in this rarified world where they Knew All, were listened to when they chose to intervene. We aspired to become adults because adults Knew Things and they got did things we weren't old enough to do.

Nowadays, kids are dragged everywhere, forced to live in the adult world, forced to do adult things in adult ways when they aren't ready for that - and frequently given adult responsibilities. Worse, they are forced to be kids from an adult perspective - expected to be happy with showers of pre-made toys that do things for them, carted to formal sporting events, and forced to attend parties better suited for adults. They aren't allowed to be kids, and when they grow up, they feel they haven't really grown up, that they are still kids, because they are doing the same things as adults they were made to do as kids. They lack coping skills, and they lack adaptive skills, and they lack do it yourself skills.

I understand why parents do this - when your child gets burned at a sleep over, it's not the adults in the house where the child who was burned who get charged for the injury - no, the mother is considered at fault for letting her son sleep over at his friend's house. (http://www.newschannel5.com/story/14080687/boy-set-on-fire-while-sleeping-over-at-friends-house)

It's hard to let your kids be kids and do kid things and spend unsupervised time learning to grow up when the law tries to find ways to charge parents as criminals when the child gets hurt or damages things. In this case, why charge the mother - she did everything right - when the adults in the home where the child was injured aren't charged with anything at all?

Our society has gotten all screwed up.

And part of the reason is that we don't let our kids be kids and elarn to do things for themselves and by themselves.