Gifting

[talon]

On the matter of gifts, I am adamantly opposed to forcing anyone to wait until one specific day of the year to give or receive a gift. I am especially opposed to being forced to buy gifts for everyone I know on one specific day of the year when there are 364 other equally good potential gift-giving days. That's an economic burden I refuse to bear.

Instead, I gift people throughout the year. I choose when I give gifts, to whom, and why.

I will give cards and food for holy days and holidays. Occasionally, I'll give a little token - usually an ornament made of natural materials - a walnut shell carved like a basket and filled with tiny dried flowers, a shell with a spray of dried flowers glued in it, a Sculpey snowman or ghost ornament I fired in the oven, a cloved lemon, a Styrofoam ball covered with rosebuds or lavender or potpourri, a glass ball filled with a dried flower arrangement - something that took a bit of time and thought and a few found materials.

Wish list gifts should be given when the time is right - when the person needs it or deserves a reward or as a Thank You. These gifts shouldn't be tied to a specific holy day because the expectations then become unrealistic.

When my children were small and their Christian relatives asked for a wish list to buy gifts for my children, I'd sit my children down and tell them up front that their relatives wanted to get into the spirit of the holidays by buying them a present and giving it to them as if it came from Santa, so they needed to think about the person who would be getting the gift for them and make a list that would be reasonable and affordable for that gift-giver. We set price ranges and considered availability and each child's desires. It made them think.

They knew "Santa Gifts" were always ones of the spirit - desired weather, a chance encounter with a distant friend, a new friendship, a "snapshot" moment of joy and connection. These were (and are) the gifts we bring to our holy days to share with feast fare. "Santa Gifts" are the ones we collect and bring to the Christmas season, "Bacchus Gifts" are for Valentine's Day, "Ostara Gifts" are the spring equinox gifts, and so on. Each holy day brings gifts from the numena or small gods that populate that holy day.

Birthdays, anniversaries, and other Rites of Passage are the days for major gift-giving to people. The other times gifts are appropriate are when there is need and when one wishes to reward another or thank them.

We don't believe in one big massive gift-giving frenzy.

It's hard to properly appreciate gifts given en masse, and for children, a deluge of gifts devalues the individual gifts.

For holy days, gifts flow from the god(s) to us, and from us to the god(s), with some small spillage to one another in the form of food, fellowship, and maybe ephemeral or small tokens.