Sober Wedding Guests

[talon]

http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2010/08/03/cash-bars-and-the-wrath-of-sober-wedding-guests/?hpt=C2

What is all the furor?

It's a wedding, not a clubbing event. The bride and groom invited their guests to witness the marriage, not to entertain them. That they also hold a reception afterwards to provide food for their guests who traveled so far to attend the wedding is a nice thing they do.

It's actually a very Pagan thing - to provide a feast for a Rite of Passage event and that has clung through millennia of human existence. Booze used to be much cheaper, especially when it was what was commonly drunk (ale, wine, beer) in lieu of other beverages, which is why booze was served at weddings. But as times progressed, we created other beverages - coffee, tea, sodas, sport drinks, flavored waters...and booze became much more expensive. It's only natural that the common beverages of the times are what's served at the various Rites of Passage events, such as births, weddings, funerals, housewarmings, and graduations.

And all the people on the comments who tie the wedding gift to the booze and food?

How utterly crass is that?

One gives gifts to the bridal couple to help them start out their new life together, not as payment for a meal

None of the weddings I've hosted as parent have had any kind of booze present (not even a toasting wine or champagne, because I was a ditz and forgot that), but none, none of the guests were so crass as to demand booze, and they all had an enjoyable time. The food was good and plentiful, the music was popular, there were comfy chairs, everyone got pretty little tokens to take home with them, and the central portion of the event was successfully completed - the wedding.

I've attended plenty of weddings where no booze was served, and I'm happy to report that at every single one of them, the bridal couple successfully completed the marriage and the guests successfully witnessed the wedding, and everyone got to congratulate the couple and dance and listen to awesome music, and ate food to fuel them through the dancing and on their journey home.

There have also been a few weddings I attended where booze of some sort was served, and yanno, the exact same thing happened - the bridal couple successfully married and the guests witnessed it, and everyone got to dance and congratulate the couple and listen to music and eat food to fuel the dancing and the journey home. The only difference was that some of the guests needed cabs or rides and had to retrieve their cars later, once they were sober.

I don't think it matters one whit whether booze is present or not, as long as the main reason is successfully completed.

I think it's rather crass and rude for guests to make demands on the bridal couple when they already have a great deal on their minds - like getting through the ceremony with flubbing it up, then getting away for their honeymoon as soon as they reasonably can. The guests should be supporting the wedding couple in getting those things accomplished, not making childish demands and ruining what's supposed to be a happy, trouble-free day for the wedding couple.

Wet or dry, I've seen troublesome guests who try to make the day all about them - like the ones who threw a screaming hissy fit because they arrived late and were directed to sit in the back. They threw such a fit they delayed the wedding by nearly an hour with their hysterics and carrying-on. Had it been my wedding or the wedding of one of my children, those people would have been escorted - forcefully if necessary - off the property and far, far away, but this family - with the bride already at the altar - stopped everything to placate these people, who were remote relatives who'd said they wouldn't be there. And then there was the wedding where the couple had specifically asked that no children attend the ceremony (they didn't want crying babies and screaming toddlers at it) - and even went so far as to provide a separate day care area for all the children, only to have one guest insist her darling would behave - and the child promptly melted down as soon as the bride started her journey to the altar. The wedding had to be stopped while the child was calmed, and as soon as the bride started for the altar again, the child started screaming again. One of the groomsmen finally escorted mother and child out of the wedding and stayed with them until the ceremony was completed, but by then, the bride was in tears and her wedding ruined.

I could share more bad behavior by guests, but you get the drift - these "guests" felt the day had to be about them and their needs and their pleasures and through their selfish behavior, left unpleasant memories for the bridal couple.

Sure, most of the couples were able to look back and laugh about it, but there was still that small hurt that their day was railroaded away from the purpose to cater to someone's arrogant selfishness.

All the wedding guest can reasonably expect when they attend a wedding is to witness the couple exchange vows.

Period.

The reception is not a required part of a wedding, even if it is traditionally done.

And guests don't get to make demands on how the reception is held. They can make requests for health and accessibility reasons, but they don't get to dictate the music, the food, or the beverages, and they certainly don't get to tie their wedding gift to the lavishness of the reception.

That's just petty.