Dogs

Hot dogs, to be precise.

I want to have a Dog Party. It may be a while before I can afford to do this (mostly because I have a long way to go to organize my house and get it tidy enough for visitors...)

It would be buffet style, and it would have more than one "dog": Hebrew Nationals, chicken, bison, rabbit, andouille, lamb, Italian sausage, duck sausage, spam strips, breakfast links, falafel strips, tofu strips (aka koelnerwurst), bratwurst, jagdwurst, mettwurst, kangaroo snags, and Glamorgan sausages.

There would be a wide variety of dressings: yellow mustard, german mustard, Dijon, mayonnaise, dijonnaise, baconnaise, sriracha aioli, wasabi aioli, dill mustard, tarragon mustard, marinara sauce, creole mustard, horseradish sauce, pesto, cucumber yogurt, ketchup, chipotle ketchup, bloody mary ketchup, and ranch dressing.

Of course there would be a wide variety of toppings, too: Bavarian kraut, Berliner kraut, Hoeckleheimer kraut, caramelized onions, crispy fried onion shreds, chopped onions, pico de gallo, avocado, chopped apples, chopped bell peppers, tomato wedges, chopped tomatoes, shredded romaine, sliced turkey, sardines, crumbled bacon, mushrooms, scrambled eggs, fried okra (I won't eat it, but I know those who will...), dill relish, sweet pickle relish, corn relish, pineapple relish, shredded carrots, diced celery, roasted peppers, diced hot pepper relish, provolone, pepper jack, sharp cheddar, feta, brie, gouda, swiss, pickle spears, baked beans, chili, vegetarian chili, cole slaw, asian slaw, german potato salad, American potato salad, crushed Fritos, crispy potato sticks, bean sprouts, radish and alfalfa sprouts, grilled pepperonis, and broccoli slaw.

The dogs wouldn't be complete without a goodly choice of seasonings: pepper sauce, Tabasco sauce, celery salt, pepper, red salt, black salt, white sesame seeds, black sesame seeds, dill weed, paprika, nigella, sumac, za'atar, caraway seeds, cumin, mahlab, lemon pepper, thyme, cardamom, and cloves.

And of course, sides: potato salads, coleslaws, fries, baked beans, salad wedges, onion rings, mac and cheese, grilled cabbage and vidalias, and guacamole.

All this requires drinks: sober sangrias, lemonade, cherry limeade, Tang, mint juleps, margaritas, and locally brewed beers.

I'd also need a buttload of people to eat all of this....

Truth is, if I actually do a Dog Party, it probably won't be near so expansive a spread. But I can wish...

Buns!

I forgot the buns! What a bad hostess I would be!

I'd have poppy seed buns, sesame seed buns, pumpernickel buns, pretzel buns, sourdough buns, potato buns, and swirly peter maxx buns.