Field Sobriety Test

[talon]

http://abcnews.go.com/US/man-claimed-fat-pass-field-sobriety-tests/story?id=9380550

I am neither morbidly obese nor arthritic and I rarely drink, yet I have never been able to pass a field sobriety test. Since my family contains an inordinately high number of police and highway patrol officers, some of the family get-togethers involved goofing off and doing things like taking the field sobriety tests - sometimes we'd do them to see if it was safe to let someone drive off at non-family events, too.

And you know what? No matter how sober, healthy, and rested I was, I never once passed this test.

Not once.

Part of it is that I have insanely tiny feet (I'm 5"3 and wear a size 3 AA shoe). Walking toe to heel is difficult because my thighs are truly thunder thighs (especially in proprotion to my feet) and they spread my feet farther apart than that. Walking heel to toe and then turning sometimes results in a fall - when I'm completely and totally sober. Forget standing on one leg outdoors - if it's the least windy, I will wobble. That's because I have tiny feet supporting a body that catches the wind like sails on a ship and if I had wheels on, I'd roll away.

I do pass the eye tracking test and the finger to the nose test, but then they'd want you to pass these other tests, and sorry, just ain't happening.

There are a lot of conditions that prevent people from passing a Field Sobriety Test that have absolutely nothing to do with being even slightly intoxicated: diabetes, hypoglycemia, ear infections, arthritis, knee and ankle injuries even after they've healed, hip displasia not sever enough to require a walker, thunder thighs, low or high blood pressure, tinnitis, obesity, and tiny feet (with or without high heels) are just some of them. I'd like to see these inaccurate tests dropped completely.

A breathalyzer is acceptable - not great but far better then the completely subjective Field Sobriety Test.