Fashion Choices

[talon]

Long ago, I seem to have just defaulted into the "frumpy" fashion, not knowing that the only 2 choices available to me in inexpensive off-the-rack clothing was either "frumpy" or "slutty".

Frumpy clothing is usually either floral prints, solids, and the rare stripe or geometric pattern in loose, saggy fitting clothes. They make a token effort at fitting and their virtue is that they don't stain easily, are durable, and are usually comfortable. Because there are only a few pieces and they mostly mix and match, they are also easy to decide what to wear. For example, my wardrobe consists of turtleneck sweaters (with matching stockings) and T's with tiered skirts. I match my stockings to my turtleneck, put a skirt between them, and I'm dressed for work, for shopping, for whatever. Frumpy, quick, convenient. My biggest thought is matching the stockings to the turtleneck. But they are always on the edge of ugly, the bad side of it. The virtues - to me, anyway - have outweighed the negatives.

The rest of my wardrobe consists of housework clothes (sweats and short sleeved T's suitable for gardening, painting, crafting) and historical (ish, anyway) costumes.

I thought it was time to update my wardrobe - I've been wearing the exact same clothes for 25 years now and some are starting to show wear (I told you frumpy clothes are durable). So I looked around to see what was available in my size.

Bear in mind I have a weird shape. You know those children's books where you turn part of a page to change the picture - you can put a goat head on a chicken body with lizard feet sort of thing? That's me, except I was made from 2 humans of vastly different sizes, a child and a giant. I have 3 "layers" of child size: shoulders and head, ribs and waist, shins and feet, and 2 "layers" of giant: upper arms and boobs, and hips and thighs.

Now, find a blouse that fits an 8 year old child in the shoulders, back, and arm length, but a giant in the boobs and upper arms. Not in the stores, not unless I want super slutty or stay with turtlenecks (and just roll up the too long sleeves).

Skirts, at least, are easy if they aren't fitted - if they fit in the hips, I only have to take in the waist about 10". If they fit in the waist, they will never go over the hips.

Pants? It is to laugh! Even if they fit in the hips, they are too snug in the thighs and way to large in waist and belled (even if they claim to be leggings, they bell) in the calf, and they are always too long unless I buy Capri pants, in which case, they are usually just below ankle length.

When the only choices for my new wardrobe are slutty and frumpy, I will choose neither and just resign myself to fabric shopping to make my own clothes.